The Trinidad/Guayana JFK Terror Plot
Sunday, June 3rd, 2007 |Cultural Learnings of Trinidad for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of USA.
Dear America,
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I know you’ve heard a lot about Trinidad and Tobago in the past three days or so, and for weeks to come you will hear a lot more about T&T accompanied by the words “terrorist”, “plot”, “blow up” and “Guyana”. The only word there I don’t mind being linked to is “Guyana”. You see, America, the Fox News Channel is up to it’s old war-baiting sensational tricks again. It’s reporting that Trinidad and Tobago is the “New Hotbed in the War on Terror”. Now hoooooooooooold on for a just a sec, America. Easy there. Put the safety back on and let’s talk for a bit. “War” is kind of a strong word isn’t it? Countries involved in the war on terror are usually bombing or being bombed, and let’s face it, we probably won’t be good at either. In fact, let’s not use the word “war” and instead let’s call it a “Squabble on Terror”.
Trinidadians and Tobagonians (or Trinis as we like to be called) are really peace-loving, party-going, people. We mean you no harm. We are in love with cricket, football (the one with the guys in shorts running after a ball) and carnival. We don’t know the first thing about terror or terrorizing. We are on peaceful terms with everyone.
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| The Urkel years |
I know it’s suspicious how cozy we look next to Venezuela, but I promise it’s not what it looks like. It’s entirely platonic. In fact, a lot of us don’t even like or trust the guy over there. We do our thing, he does his.
We don’t have leaders with crazy haircuts or resemblances to muppets, as a matter of fact, our Prime Minister at one time looked very much like an American TV icon so much so, that we found it hard to take him seriously. Actually, we still don’t take him seriously. But, enough about Urkel boy.
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As Dirk already pointed out, we are a very creative people. You know the steel pan – the instrument you prefer to call the “steel drum”? That’s us, man. That’s all us. We play tassa, we play mas and we sing funny songs. Remember “Who let the dogs out?” That’s us too.What about the limbo dance? Us again. We’ve been in on your minds and in your living rooms for longer than you know.
We have nothing against JFK. Forget what was said about “killing the man twice”. We even have a JFK auditorium on our campus of the University of the West Indies. We’re down, I promise. Ain’t no thang. In fact, the only airport scandal we’ve been involved in was when a previous administration built us an airport and overcharged us for it, kind of like what Halliburton did to the US Government and just like the U.S. Government, we got our money back.
So come on America, we would rather not have any part in your war on terror. A couple arrests don’t* make us a hotbed. Can’t we all just get along? BFF, America?
The Manicou
*It took the quote in the Guardian this morning for me to realize my subject and verb didn’t agree. Thanks Boysieringo!
