The Manicou Report

Michael Holding

Courtney Walsh, Michael Holding and Australian Captain Ricky Ponting have all come out strongly against the inclusion of the minnows in the Cricket World Cup. Who are the minnows? These are the non-Test-Playing nations that have been included into this year’s Cricket World Cup. They are Bermuda, Canada, Scotland, The Netherlands and Ireland. The ICC more politely refers to them as “ICC Associates”.

Frankly I don’t see what all the hullabaloo is about. So they don’t play test cricket, they’re not as good as us. So what? It’s actually kind of nice to see some new faces on the scene once in a while. It’s nice to see players from Ireland and Bermuda playing our game. It’s nice not to be treated to the same old fare all the time. When did we here in the WI get so high and mighty that we can dictate who can come into our little member’s club?

As far as I could remember, both Trinidad and Jamaica were once minnows in the FIFA World Cup - and such minnows we were compared to all the big names. Yet we managed to hold our own in the face of stiff competition. Even now the West Indies manage to play like minnows on occasion, so what’s wrong with letting the new kids play?

Dwayne Leverock

One of the great things about the minnows (as Rahul Dravid put it) is that they add charm to the tournament. You can’t deny that.

Watching Bermuda’s Dwayne Leverock, who knew that a 264lb man could play cricket? Who knew he could spin bowl well enough to claim 2-32 (claiming the wickets of Kevin Pietersen and Paul Collingwood)?

Of course this has reopened the fat-joke buffet that was closed when Shane Warne retired (Wait, did I just do one myself?). Some of the better ones include “Pietersen undone by wide delivery“, “Big bowling attack“, “Burly Leverock hungry for success“, “Spinner poses weighty problem“, “Dwayne Leverock does not throw his weight around back at the hotel…“, “England’s batsmen felt the pressure of the heavy roller” and “Bermuda were bowled out for 45 against England on Monday, but in 125kg spinner Dwayne Leverock they have a bowler who can turn the ball - even if he can’t turn down seconds.”

Yes, Bermuda were eventually scuttle out for 45 runs, but who knew a minnow could have England at teetering at 5-132?

On the other hand I do wonder if this inclusion is an attempt on the parts of the ICC and its sponsors to draw out the tournament in order to milk the ad revenue for as long as possible. Could be.

However, when the first round of the World Cup is over, the minnows would have been ejected and the rightful order of things would have been reestablished - that’s if the plan all comes together as it should. Surely, the possibility of an upset is not what’s driving people like Holding and Ponting to protest the minnow’s inclusion, is it? I can tell you that minnows in any tournament are capable of playing a style of the game that their opponents are unfamiliar with and therefore unable to adapt to, and that makes for unfamiliar territory and an evening, as it were, of the playing field.

And just to take the heat off Leverock a little, a bit of sledging between Warne and South Africa’s Daryll Cullinan:

Shane Warne : I’ve waited two years for another chance to humiliate you.
Daryll Cullinan : Looks like you spent it eating.