The Manicou Report

The mas is all over now. I can’t say that I took notice of a lot of it. Every year I make sure to watch the Dimanche Gras show, but that’s about it for Carnival festivities for me really. Dimanche Gras is always the best part of the season and particularly the Calypso Monarch final. I used to watch the Kings and Queens show also, but with this year’s one-song rule leaving the King and Queens of the band unsandwiched by calypsos, I’ve realized I don’t like watching it as much as I thought I did. Instead, after the calypsos were done, I came and sat here next to my computer till the results were ready.

The show overall was OK I guess. The stage design was kind of poor in my opinion. It looked like an 80’s Scouting for Talent stage. In fact the show on a whole had that feeling – more of a talent competition than the grand finale of calypso. You would think that after all these years we could produce something a little prettier than that. Needless to say, I was very disappointed.

You can see the results here, but here’s a rundown of how I felt about each finalist begining in last place:

15th – Black Sage – “Send for Somebody” – Ho hum. Subject matter wasn’t terrible, but the song itself was plenty bland. The subject of his calypso was the fact that T&T sends abroad for all its experts….or something like that.

13th (tied) Brother Valentino – “Pioneer” – I apologise, but this was just another tired calypso about pan that really didn’t have anything new to say. I think the judges let it into the final because they couldn’t bear to have a calypso about the national instrument left out of the show. It’s kind of like leaving Miss USA out of the Miss Universe final being held in New York – you just don’t do it.

13th (tied) Crazy “Paradise” – I don’t think 13th place did this justice. I thought it deserved much better. I guess it may have lacked a little originality. It was however, lyrics-wise, one of my favourites for the night.

12th Mr Caesar – “Carry Me” – Up to now I don’t know what this boy was singing about. A very forgettable performance. It may be my fault too since during stanza’s 3-4, I was raiding the kitchen for snacks. I won’t accept all the blame though since stanzas 1-2 and included chorus didn’t hold much promise. The snack was good however – ’twas a Nature Valley granola bar – the Oats ‘N Honey variety.

11th Singing Sandra – “Sudan” — Singing Sandra starts off this song talking about how we have to end racism in this country and then for the next 5 or so verses goes on a tirade of unfounded accusation after unfounded accusation about how doctors (read: non-Afro-Trini doctors) at the nation’s hospitals are killing African babies and tying African mother’s tubes – hence the title of the song “Sudan”. Right. The premise of the song was that it was a “friend” who was telling her about all the atrocities that were being committed and she (Singing Sandra) was having a hard time believing it. What a way to end racial discrimination. I used to like Singing Sandra, but *flush*.

10th Shadow – “If I Coulda” — How could Shadow make it to the final with this song but not with “Poverty is Hell”? “If I Coulda” is not a bad song, it’s a nice little ditty about not giving excuses, but it was never going to win the Calypso Monarch. Could I have missed its underlying meaning? By the way, “Poverty is Hell” is one of my all-time favourite calypsos.

9th Heather McIntosh – “Check One” — I really thought the name of this was “Check the I”. Anyway, it was a good song, the only bad part about it was that Heather McIntosh chose to punctuate her calypso with shouts of “Haile Selassie I” and “Jah Rastafari” which really had nothing to do with the song on a whole. The song was about the arrogance of the Government who does thing without checking with the “I” i.e. the electorate. Maybe I’m missing a parallel meaning, and maybe she meant to allude that the “I” was also God. If she did, that was completely lost on me. It was a little confusing. Her father Shortpants filled the roll of prop man and brought on a couple signs or something like that. I can’t remember what the signs said.

8th Skatie – “Eat Yuh Cake and Still Have it” — Ho hum. I think Skatie’s aim was to ensure that the Government would still hire him to sing PSAs like “Picture, Picture of our Health Ministry…”. I’m sure his paycheck is not in danger after taking shots at things like anti-smelter protesters. Mind you he did criticize the Government, but I think his role was more of a Shakespearean Fool than a strong critic. He also managed to take a jab at Chalkie saying (and I’m paraphrasing) that “Chalkie has won the crown so many times and wouldn’t give the youngsters a chance”. Well if the youngsters are singing crap like “Eat Yuh Cake and Still Have it”, what do you expect, Skatie? By all means Chalkie, please sing till you’re 90. In any case Skatie must be getting too caught up in the whole “Monarch” aspect of this thing. The crown has to be earned, not handed down.

7th Sean Daniel – “Ring” – This anti-premarital sex song was good and the performance was entertaining and energetic. I liked it a lot. It deserved a top 10 finish. I especially liked the prop man in the back with the oversized wedding band, performing all kinds of shenanigans. Daniel also had the best line of “No Ring, No Ting”.

6th Duane O’Connor – “Satorial Elegance” — This song heaped praises on a very praiseworthy Might Duke. It bored me out of my mind. I think this song had the “Miss USA in the Miss Universe Pageant in the USA” effect also. “A song about a legendary calypsonian? How could we leave it out?”

5th Chalkdust — “Soca Warriors” — One of my all-time favourite Calypsonians. His song this year was quite good. He used his song to demonstrate how he was a Soca Warrior too – a soca warrior before the term was coined. I think he even fired a shot off at Skatie, although I can’t now remember what it was.

4th Maria Bhola – “I Love You” – perhaps the most entertaining performance of the evening. She chose to ridicule Larry Achong behavior at the TV6 Chatham Town Meeting saying “I love you” instead of, well, the obvious. Equipped with gray hair and Achong’s Farmer Brown get-up, she worked her fake pot belly like I have never seen a pot belly being worked before (or hopefully, ever will). Performance-wise, she was the best hands down. I was transfixed to her and her pot belly from the moment she stepped on stage. Her song was pretty good too, and I had hoped for a higher place for her. In fact, I thought 4th was surprisingly low.

3rd Devon Seales – “One Song” – His was another good performance. Complete with Western wear and a orange toy pistol, looking like he was prepared for a gunfight, Devon Seales was excellent. His song was a list of all the things he wanted to sing, but couldn’t because he only had one song. I guess the Old West wear was a symbol of the one-shot showdown that the Calypso Monarch was reduced to. Obviously this didn’t go unnoticed by the judges either who gave him third place.

2nd De Fosto Himself – “Police Money” — I realize that a lot of people liked this one a lot more than I did. It’s actually a good song, but I wouldn’t have picked him to get second place. Probably it’s a little hard for me to take him seriously anymore after last years Soca Warriors calypso which looked like nothing more than a singing request to be sent to Germany with the other talent. I could be wrong though.

1st Cro Cro – “Nobody Ain’t Go Know” — Well Cro Cro has never been my favourite calypsonian. While a lot of people will say “Cro Cro is my boy”, I remember the things he has sung in the past and the amount of hurt it has caused to Indo-Trinidadians. I remember those things even when terms like “stereotyping” were not fully understood by calypso lovers and many would say, “Dat is good Kaiso”. I’m not against criticism of course, just against unfairness. I could never understand the view that one group of people could be always wrong and the other group never wrong. But that’s just me.

That being said, this calypso was OK. It was a little tired though, and a little trite, and not very creative. On top of all that, parts of his delivery were rushed and garbled. I think that if another Calypsonian had sung this song, even with clearer diction, they would not have won. Sometimes I think the judges have this nostalgic/romantic prejudiced opinion of a calypsonian that causes them to be star-struck on Dimanche Gras night.

I’ve always been confused by the Monarch results, and this helped to cement my belief that I could never be a judge in the finals. I just can’t tell what the judges are looking for.