The Manicou Report

Yorke at Celebration Saturday

On Saturday evening the government of Trinidad & Tobago rewarded the T&T Soca Warriors for reaching the finals of the FIFA World Cup in Germany. According to Prime Minister Manning, the Warriors will receive $1M TT cyash! (which is actually $750,000 in Units from the Unit Trust Corporation and $250,000 cyash!). However Dwight Yorke, because of his long illustrious career will receive a whopping $1.2M The Warriors will also receive the Chaconia Medal (Gold). Beenhakker will also receive the Chaconia Medal (Gold) and $1M cash.

Even the members of the team that did not make the final squad, as well as Leo Beenhakker’s three assistants will get $250,000 each.

So everybody gets some money and everyone is happy. So What about Jack? Is there no love for Jack Warner? Without a doubt, had it not been for Warner, Dwight Yorke and Stern John and all the others would have to have watched the World Cup from their living rooms. (If I had things my way, Stern John whould have watched it from his living room regardless). But what about Jack? Jack Warner poured so much of his own money into football. He even paid Mr. Beenhakker’s hefty salary out of his own. The guy has spent millions on Trinidad and Tobago football. And on “Celebration Saturday” he gets nothing except an honourary mention from Patrick Manning - his nemesis? Man, O, Man. It’s like getting kissed by someone with bad breath. At least give the man the Trinity Cross Order of the Trinity Order of Trinidad and Tobago.

How easily they forget

It’s the least the man deservers for all is hard work over the years. A run-of-the-mill thanks offered my Manning isn’t quite enough. It’s sad but I think that Warner would have gotten something had he not been the UNC’s chief financier, deputy leader and chief pitbull. On his best day I know that he’s kind of a moron and when he gets up there on that UNC platform, those really pretty lips of his can spew some pretty vile stuff. But when it comes to football, the man’s loyalties are undivided. So ok, you don’t want to give him a cash award that’s going to get funnelled back into the UNC’s coffers and work against you at the next general election. That’s fine. But an award will do just fine.

What did the Soca Warriors not get that they should have gotten? Well that’s a very relevant question. I actually I have a list compiled from hours upon hours of street surveying. I canvassed the streets of Trinidad from Port of Spain to Guaico, from Moruga to Beetham, from Mafeking to Bayshore, from Woodbrook to Charlieville. I have questioned zero people, and this is what I have decided:

1. First of all give all the Soca Warriors a Ford Mustang with the GT package and real zorce. A Warrior should not have to take a Maxi or a Taxi to go anywhere. Please, no roll on/roll off.
2. Next give each Soca Warrior a Bus Route Pass for life. No Soca Warrior should have to fight up with the Churchill-Roosevelt around Valsayn there.
3. 1 plot each of Caroni land.
   

4. Hair-clippers - Brent Sancho
5. Athletic Cup - Dwight Yorke
6. Compass & book entitled The Purpose Driven Life World Cup Edition- Why am I here on this football pitch? - Stern John
7. Nicotine patches & book entitled I’m an Athlete. I shouldn’t smoke. - Russell Latapy
8. Nicotine patches & book entitled
   

   Why 95-year-old men shouldn’t smoke - Leo Beenhakker.

9. And oh, of course, a smelter-free T&T.
10. A book entitled Slide-tackling for Dummies - Avery John